in life you must keep on
dreaming
because otherwise, you are just sleeping

29.12.15

9 Weeks To Go

Assalammualaikum dan hai~

Masya Allah, cepatnya masa berlalu. I've entered my 31st week, Alhamdulillah. This pregnancy is more challenging than the previous one. Tapi takpe, insya Allah ada hikmah.

Apparently, I'm one of the lucky few that get to "enjoy" prolonged morning sickness. I'm still throwing up as to date. I was looking forward to the I-want-to-eat-everything phase, but alas, looks like it won't be happening this time. I was actually dreading meal time, huhu. But at least it's not extreme up to the point of hyperemesis *counting my blessings*.

My back pain is excruciating now that I'm nearing full-term. Dah tiga hari dah tak dapat tidur sebab sakit sangat. Nak lelapkan mata pun susah. So I distract myself with reading. Membaca sampai tertidur kaedahnya. Tapi bila terjaga malam (sebab nak pergi toilet/cramp/Zain hempap), dah susah nak tidur balik. Tabahlah Amrillah, Allah nak bagi rezeki kan? Sikit je lagi...

It's just that I feel like a failure sometimes, not being able to perform my duty as wife and mother. Nak layan Zain main pun sambil baring, tak puas hati mamat tu. Sedih tau.

On baby-prepping, we have yet to purchase anything. Tapi, yang penting macam pack beg hospital pun tak buat lagi. Insaflah wahai diri. I should really learn my lesson. Konon nak pack minggu lepas. Harapan tinggal harapan. Sebab tak sihat, maka diri ini terdampar sahaja bagai ikan paus yang tersisih di tepi pantai.

Kerja pun satu hal lagi...risau ni. Dapatkah bermaternity leave dengan aman-aman? Siapa yang akan cover nanti? Risau dan stress ni mikirnya. Dok terbayang tengah kelam-kabut anak nangis boss telefon, mahu pening nanti.

Bila fikir, lagi 9 minggu je (itu pun kalau genap 40 minggu), mulalah gelabah. Tapi gelabah-gelabah pun tak ada juga progressnya, hahaha. Konsep pasrah sangat ni. Hopefully, hunjung minggu ni adalah sedikit kemajuan.

Doakan saya ya :)

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